Perl 6 set to be reincarnated as Raku, as favored by Larry Wall

Perl 6 should soon be known as Raku, now that Perl creator Larry Wall has given his blessing to the name change.

On Friday, Wall approved a GitHub pull request to adopt the new moniker, citing a Biblical parable.

He wrote, “I am in favor of this change, because it reflects an ancient wisdom,” before reciting:

No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.

Wall thus has ended a debate that has occupied the Perl developer community for the past few months and has been an issue for more than a decade. Back in August, Dutch software developer Elizabeth Mattijsen opened an issue in GitHub’s Perl 6 repository seeking to rename Perl 6 because it’s “confusing and irritating.”

The problem – apart from Perl’s dwindling popularity – simply is that Perl 5 and Perl 6 are separate, but related, programming languages. And when developers talk about Perl, they usually mean Perl 5. To give Perl 6 a chance to thrive on its own, the Perl community mostly agreed that a new name would be helpful.

Clutching at its Perl 6, developer community ponders language name with less baggage

READ MORE

Mattijsen initially proposed “Camilia,” the name of Perl 6’s butterfly mascot. Other suggestions included “Wall,” in honor of Larry Wall, ofun, hiro, juro, kiln, mayu, pumpking, rafu, rapt, and raptor, among many others.

Ultimately, Raku, a reference to Perl 6’s Rakudo compiler, won out. Perl 6 will become Raku, assuming the four people who haven’t yet approved the pull request give their okay, and Perl 5 will become simply Perl.

Announcing the change in a post to the Hacker News forum, Perl programmer and book author Curtis “Ovid” Poe said, “This has been a huge deal for the Perl community.”

“If I had my choice, I’d program in Raku because it’s a lovely language addressing many pain points (including being one of the few dynamic languages with a working concurrency model). But it’s not adopted widely enough yet for that to happen. Time will tell.”

The arguably awful butterfly character Camelia will remain the Raku mascot. ®

Sponsored: What next after Netezza?

Perl 6 set to be reincarnated as Raku, as favored by Larry Wall

Perl 6 should soon be known as Raku, now that Perl creator Larry Wall has given his blessing to the name change.

On Friday, Wall approved a GitHub pull request to adopt the new moniker, citing a Biblical parable.

He wrote, “I am in favor of this change, because it reflects an ancient wisdom,” before reciting:

No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.

Wall thus has ended a debate that has occupied the Perl developer community for the past few months and has been an issue for more than a decade. Back in August, Dutch software developer Elizabeth Mattijsen opened an issue in GitHub’s Perl 6 repository seeking to rename Perl 6 because it’s “confusing and irritating.”

The problem – apart from Perl’s dwindling popularity – simply is that Perl 5 and Perl 6 are separate, but related, programming languages. And when developers talk about Perl, they usually mean Perl 5. To give Perl 6 a chance to thrive on its own, the Perl community mostly agreed that a new name would be helpful.

Clutching at its Perl 6, developer community ponders language name with less baggage

READ MORE

Mattijsen initially proposed “Camilia,” the name of Perl 6’s butterfly mascot. Other suggestions included “Wall,” in honor of Larry Wall, ofun, hiro, juro, kiln, mayu, pumpking, rafu, rapt, and raptor, among many others.

Ultimately, Raku, a reference to Perl 6’s Rakudo compiler, won out. Perl 6 will become Raku, assuming the four people who haven’t yet approved the pull request give their okay, and Perl 5 will become simply Perl.

Announcing the change in a post to the Hacker News forum, Perl programmer and book author Curtis “Ovid” Poe said, “This has been a huge deal for the Perl community.”

“If I had my choice, I’d program in Raku because it’s a lovely language addressing many pain points (including being one of the few dynamic languages with a working concurrency model). But it’s not adopted widely enough yet for that to happen. Time will tell.”

The arguably awful butterfly character Camelia will remain the Raku mascot. ®

Sponsored: What next after Netezza?

Mastercard, Visa, eBay and payments firm Stripe have pulled out of Facebook’s embattled cryptocurrency project, Libra.

Their move, first reported in the Financial Times, follows the withdrawal of PayPal, announced last week.

It represents a huge blow to the social network’s plans to launch what it envisions as a global currency.

The project has drawn heavy scrutiny from regulators and politicians, particularly in the US.

Facebook chief executive Mark Zuckerberg will appear before the House Committee on Financial Services on 23 October to discuss Libra and its planned roll-out.

Regulators have raised multiple concerns over Libra, including the risk it may be used for money laundering.

Mercado Pago, a payments firm serving mostly Latin America, also pulled out. It means of the six payments-related firms first involved in Libra, just one, PayU, remains. Netherlands-based PayU did not respond to the BBC’s request for comment on Friday.

In a statement released on Friday, eBay said it “respected” the Libra project.

“However, eBay has made the decision to not move forward as a founding member. At this time, we are focused on rolling out eBay’s managed payments experience for our customers.”

A spokesperson for Stripe said the firm supported the aim of making global payments easier.

“Libra has this potential. We will follow its progress closely and remain open to working with the Libra Association at a later stage.”

A spokesperson for Visa said: “We will continue to evaluate and our ultimate decision will be determined by a number of factors, including the Association’s ability to fully satisfy all requisite regulatory expectations.”

The Libra Association, set up by Facebook to manage the project, said of the departing companies: “We appreciate their support for the goals and mission of the Libra project.

“Although the makeup of the Association members may grow and change over time, the design principle of Libra’s governance and technology, along with the open nature of this project ensures the Libra payment network will remain resilient.

“We look forward to the inaugural Libra Association Council meeting in just 3 days and announcing the initial members of the Libra Association.”

Facebook’s executive in charge of its Libra effort wrote on Twitter that losing the firms was “liberating”.

“I would caution against reading the fate of Libra into this update,” wrote David Marcus, who before joining Facebook was PayPal’s president.

“Of course, it’s not great news in the short term, but in a way it’s liberating. Stay tuned for more very soon. Change of this magnitude is hard. You know you’re on to something when so much pressure builds up.”

Last week, PayPal said it would no longer be part of the Libra Association, but did not rule out working on the project in future – prompting a strong reaction from the Association.

“Commitment to that mission is more important to us than anything else,” it said in a statement. “We’re better off knowing about this lack of commitment now.”

_____

Follow Dave Lee on Twitter @DaveLeeBBC

Do you have more information about this or any other technology story? You can reach Dave directly and securely through encrypted messaging app Signal on: +1 (628) 400-7370

Mastercard, Visa, eBay and payments firm Stripe have pulled out of Facebook’s embattled cryptocurrency project, Libra.

Their move, first reported in the Financial Times, follows the withdrawal of PayPal, announced last week.

It represents a huge blow to the social network’s plans to launch what it envisions as a global currency.

The project has drawn heavy scrutiny from regulators and politicians, particularly in the US.

Facebook chief executive Mark Zuckerberg will appear before the House Committee on Financial Services on 23 October to discuss Libra and its planned roll-out.

Regulators have raised multiple concerns over Libra, including the risk it may be used for money laundering.

Mercado Pago, a payments firm serving mostly Latin America, also pulled out. It means of the six payments-related firms first involved in Libra, just one, PayU, remains. Netherlands-based PayU did not respond to the BBC’s request for comment on Friday.

In a statement released on Friday, eBay said it “respected” the Libra project.

“However, eBay has made the decision to not move forward as a founding member. At this time, we are focused on rolling out eBay’s managed payments experience for our customers.”

A spokesperson for Stripe said the firm supported the aim of making global payments easier.

“Libra has this potential. We will follow its progress closely and remain open to working with the Libra Association at a later stage.”

A spokesperson for Visa said: “We will continue to evaluate and our ultimate decision will be determined by a number of factors, including the Association’s ability to fully satisfy all requisite regulatory expectations.”

The Libra Association, set up by Facebook to manage the project, said of the departing companies: “We appreciate their support for the goals and mission of the Libra project.

“Although the makeup of the Association members may grow and change over time, the design principle of Libra’s governance and technology, along with the open nature of this project ensures the Libra payment network will remain resilient.

“We look forward to the inaugural Libra Association Council meeting in just 3 days and announcing the initial members of the Libra Association.”

Facebook’s executive in charge of its Libra effort wrote on Twitter that losing the firms was “liberating”.

“I would caution against reading the fate of Libra into this update,” wrote David Marcus, who before joining Facebook was PayPal’s president.

“Of course, it’s not great news in the short term, but in a way it’s liberating. Stay tuned for more very soon. Change of this magnitude is hard. You know you’re on to something when so much pressure builds up.”

Last week, PayPal said it would no longer be part of the Libra Association, but did not rule out working on the project in future – prompting a strong reaction from the Association.

“Commitment to that mission is more important to us than anything else,” it said in a statement. “We’re better off knowing about this lack of commitment now.”

_____

Follow Dave Lee on Twitter @DaveLeeBBC

Do you have more information about this or any other technology story? You can reach Dave directly and securely through encrypted messaging app Signal on: +1 (628) 400-7370

Zuck-bucks dead in the water as payment giants snub currency tech

Updated The Facebook-backed Libra crypto-currency project was dealt a crushing blow Friday when eBay, Stripe, and others yanked their support.

The two corporations confirmed within the past hour or so they will withdraw from the Libra Association, joining PayPal, which pulled out earlier this week. Mastercard, Visa, and Latin America payment giant Mercardo Pago are also reportedly pulling out, bringing the total number of Libra backers reportedly ejecting to six out of 28 initially supporting the project.

“We highly respect the vision of the Libra Association; however, eBay has made the decision to not move forward as a founding member,” eBay said in a statement to El Reg. “At this time, we are focused on rolling out eBay’s managed payments experience for our customers.”

Libra, meanwhile, said it plans to soldier on.

Don’t trust Facebook’s Libra cryptocurrency, boffins warn: Zuck & Co know that hash is king

READ MORE

“We appreciate their support for the goals and mission of the Libra project,” a spokesperson said.

“We are focused on moving forward and continuing to build a strong association of some of the world’s leading enterprises, social impact organizations and other stakeholders to achieve a safe, transparent, and consumer-friendly implementation of a global payment system that breaks down financial barriers for billions of people.

“Although the makeup of the Association members may grow and change over time, the design principle of Libra’s governance and technology, along with the open nature of this project ensures the Libra payment network will remain resilient. We look forward to the inaugural Libra Association Council meeting in just 3 days and announcing the initial members of the Libra Association.”

Unveiled in June by Facebook execs, the Libra crypto-currency project was touted as a private, secure way for two-billion-plus social-media addicts around the globe to spend their hard earned and make purchases.

It was also met almost immediately with skepticism and hostility as governments feared the currency could be used to stealthily fund criminal activities. Some nations have even planned to reject it outright.

That doubt, it seems, has now caused a number of early partners to withdraw from the project, though all left the door open to participation later on.

“Stripe is supportive of projects that aim to make online commerce more accessible for people around the world. Libra has this potential,” Stripe told The Register. “We will follow its progress closely and remain open to working with the Libra Association at a later stage.”

In addition to PayPal, eBay, and Stripe, it was reported on Friday afternoon that three more partners, Mastercard, Visa, and Mercado Pago, have also pulled their support from the project, casting Libra into further peril. ®

Updated to add

Visa has confirmed it is exiting Facebook’s crypto-dosh for now.

“Visa has decided not to join the Libra Association at this time,” a spokesperson told The Register.

“We will continue to evaluate and our ultimate decision will be determined by a number of factors, including the Association’s ability to fully satisfy all requisite regulatory expectations.

“Visa’s continued interest in Libra stems from our belief that well-regulated blockchain-based networks could extend the value of secure digital payments to a greater number of people and places, particularly in emerging and developing markets.”

It looks as though the currency is now pretty much dead. Libra would have made Facebook potentially the most powerful corporation in the world, had it succeeded.

Sponsored: What next after Netezza?

Zuck-bucks dead in the water as payment giants snub currency tech

Updated The Facebook-backed Libra crypto-currency project was dealt a crushing blow Friday when eBay, Stripe, and others yanked their support.

The two corporations confirmed within the past hour or so they will withdraw from the Libra Association, joining PayPal, which pulled out earlier this week. Mastercard, Visa, and Latin America payment giant Mercardo Pago are also reportedly pulling out, bringing the total number of Libra backers reportedly ejecting to six out of 28 initially supporting the project.

“We highly respect the vision of the Libra Association; however, eBay has made the decision to not move forward as a founding member,” eBay said in a statement to El Reg. “At this time, we are focused on rolling out eBay’s managed payments experience for our customers.”

Libra, meanwhile, said it plans to soldier on.

Don’t trust Facebook’s Libra cryptocurrency, boffins warn: Zuck & Co know that hash is king

READ MORE

“We appreciate their support for the goals and mission of the Libra project,” a spokesperson said.

“We are focused on moving forward and continuing to build a strong association of some of the world’s leading enterprises, social impact organizations and other stakeholders to achieve a safe, transparent, and consumer-friendly implementation of a global payment system that breaks down financial barriers for billions of people.

“Although the makeup of the Association members may grow and change over time, the design principle of Libra’s governance and technology, along with the open nature of this project ensures the Libra payment network will remain resilient. We look forward to the inaugural Libra Association Council meeting in just 3 days and announcing the initial members of the Libra Association.”

Unveiled in June by Facebook execs, the Libra crypto-currency project was touted as a private, secure way for two-billion-plus social-media addicts around the globe to spend their hard earned and make purchases.

It was also met almost immediately with skepticism and hostility as governments feared the currency could be used to stealthily fund criminal activities. Some nations have even planned to reject it outright.

That doubt, it seems, has now caused a number of early partners to withdraw from the project, though all left the door open to participation later on.

“Stripe is supportive of projects that aim to make online commerce more accessible for people around the world. Libra has this potential,” Stripe told The Register. “We will follow its progress closely and remain open to working with the Libra Association at a later stage.”

In addition to PayPal, eBay, and Stripe, it was reported on Friday afternoon that three more partners, Mastercard, Visa, and Mercado Pago, have also pulled their support from the project, casting Libra into further peril. ®

Updated to add

Visa has confirmed it is exiting Facebook’s crypto-dosh for now.

“Visa has decided not to join the Libra Association at this time,” a spokesperson told The Register.

“We will continue to evaluate and our ultimate decision will be determined by a number of factors, including the Association’s ability to fully satisfy all requisite regulatory expectations.

“Visa’s continued interest in Libra stems from our belief that well-regulated blockchain-based networks could extend the value of secure digital payments to a greater number of people and places, particularly in emerging and developing markets.”

It looks as though the currency is now pretty much dead. Libra would have made Facebook potentially the most powerful corporation in the world, had it succeeded.

Sponsored: What next after Netezza?

Devs lament ‘trash fire’ ‘Windows Vista-like’ release

Comment Amid Apple’s attempt to fend off criticism for its removal, restoration, and re-removal of an app used by pro-democracy protesters in Hong Kong, the company is also facing particularly voluble criticism from users of its latest desktop operating system, macOS Catalina.

Since at least 2015, developers and other technically-savvy folk have fretted that Apple’s software quality isn’t what it could be. The gripes reached Apple executives and by 2018, there were reports that company technical leaders were focused on improving quality.

To judge by the reception of macOS Catalina, aka macOS 10.15, it appears Apple’s quality push was more aspirational than actual.

In two posts this week, macOS developer Tyler Hall, from Nashville, Tennessee, savaged Apple’s macOS Catalina update, likening it to the reviled Windows Vista and subsequently detailing its many alleged faults.

The Register contacted Hall to discuss his concerns, but he declined to comment further. “[T]his has all blown up way more than I ever intended,” he said in an email. “And I’ve heard personally from folks inside Apple who I’m friends with and others that I just know by reputation, that my comments were hurtful. I’d rather not say anything else.”

The Register also asked Apple whether the company would comment on how macOS Catalina has been received and whether user dissatisfaction differed from previous releases. But Apple – and this may not come as a surprise – has not responded.

To some extent, dissatisfied users should be expected with any software release. And there’s no shortage of these. Apple’s macOS Catalina forum is currently full of people reporting problems, and criticizing Apple’s quality assurance process. Discontent can be attributed in part to Catalina’s removal of support for 32-bit apps, necessary for a possible future transition away from Intel. But there’s more to it than that.

Experienced macOS users tend to advise waiting a few months for updates and bug fixes before installing a major operating system revision. Even so, macOS Catalina appears to be worse than people’s general low expectations for software.

Among those discussing Hall’s posts on Hacker News, there’s quite a bit of support for his concerns.

• “I’m sort of surprised that they actually released with the state it is currently in.”

• “This year all their OSes seem to be riddled with issues at release. iOS 13.0 was so bad they released 13.1 in less than 5 days, but even now many things are still hit and miss (with 13.2 in beta). watchOS 6.0 is also still pretty bad and not yet fixed (with 6.1 in beta). macOS 10.15 GM seems pretty buggy.”

Sentiment on Twitter isn’t much better:

Then there are the posts that purport to be from Apple employees and describe the company’s internal disarray and lack of communication. The Register is unable to verify who these people might be, but other people posting to the thread confirm that Apple employees they’ve known have raised similar concerns.

In particular, these supposed employees raise the same issue cited by Hall, that Apple’s marketing group overrides engineering concerns.

As Hall argues, “Apple’s insistence on their annual, big-splash release cycle is fundamentally breaking engineering.”

Michael Tsai, a macOS software developer who blogged about Apple’s software quality problems back in 2015, told The Register in an email that he thought Hall’s critique is mostly fair.

MacOS wakes to a bright Catalina sunrise – and broken Adobe apps

READ MORE

In Twitter message, developer Steve Troughton-Smith said he didn’t have much to say about Catalina. “It’s been in a pretty stable state for a while, as far as I know,” he said, noting that much of the criticism of the operating system follow from its security and privacy features, which he’s disabled on his machine.

“I don’t think it was premature, I think it’s been in roughly the same state for a while,” he said. “People were running into problems syncing their Reminders to Mojave from iOS 13 because of the new Reminds app, so it wouldn’t surprise me if Apple accelerated Catalina by a couple weeks just to make that problem go away.”

Even so, Troughton-Smith agreed that Apple’s software quality recently has been uneven.

“I think they made last year a little better at the expense of this year,” he said. “They’ve been having software quality issues since at least iOS 7 and the switch to [Craig] Federighi.”

“I think iOS 8, 11, and now 13 have been breaking points. iOS 13 has been the first time the OS didn’t make it over the line for the iPhone release. There is a pattern here that may be due to scale/complexity, or management style, but it seems balanced on a knife edge.” ®

Sponsored: What next after Netezza?

Devs lament ‘trash fire’ ‘Windows Vista-like’ release

Comment Amid Apple’s attempt to fend off criticism for its removal, restoration, and re-removal of an app used by pro-democracy protesters in Hong Kong, the company is also facing particularly voluble criticism from users of its latest desktop operating system, macOS Catalina.

Since at least 2015, developers and other technically-savvy folk have fretted that Apple’s software quality isn’t what it could be. The gripes reached Apple executives and by 2018, there were reports that company technical leaders were focused on improving quality.

To judge by the reception of macOS Catalina, aka macOS 10.15, it appears Apple’s quality push was more aspirational than actual.

In two posts this week, macOS developer Tyler Hall, from Nashville, Tennessee, savaged Apple’s macOS Catalina update, likening it to the reviled Windows Vista and subsequently detailing its many alleged faults.

The Register contacted Hall to discuss his concerns, but he declined to comment further. “[T]his has all blown up way more than I ever intended,” he said in an email. “And I’ve heard personally from folks inside Apple who I’m friends with and others that I just know by reputation, that my comments were hurtful. I’d rather not say anything else.”

The Register also asked Apple whether the company would comment on how macOS Catalina has been received and whether user dissatisfaction differed from previous releases. But Apple – and this may not come as a surprise – has not responded.

To some extent, dissatisfied users should be expected with any software release. And there’s no shortage of these. Apple’s macOS Catalina forum is currently full of people reporting problems, and criticizing Apple’s quality assurance process. Discontent can be attributed in part to Catalina’s removal of support for 32-bit apps, necessary for a possible future transition away from Intel. But there’s more to it than that.

Experienced macOS users tend to advise waiting a few months for updates and bug fixes before installing a major operating system revision. Even so, macOS Catalina appears to be worse than people’s general low expectations for software.

Among those discussing Hall’s posts on Hacker News, there’s quite a bit of support for his concerns.

• “I’m sort of surprised that they actually released with the state it is currently in.”

• “This year all their OSes seem to be riddled with issues at release. iOS 13.0 was so bad they released 13.1 in less than 5 days, but even now many things are still hit and miss (with 13.2 in beta). watchOS 6.0 is also still pretty bad and not yet fixed (with 6.1 in beta). macOS 10.15 GM seems pretty buggy.”

Sentiment on Twitter isn’t much better:

Then there are the posts that purport to be from Apple employees and describe the company’s internal disarray and lack of communication. The Register is unable to verify who these people might be, but other people posting to the thread confirm that Apple employees they’ve known have raised similar concerns.

In particular, these supposed employees raise the same issue cited by Hall, that Apple’s marketing group overrides engineering concerns.

As Hall argues, “Apple’s insistence on their annual, big-splash release cycle is fundamentally breaking engineering.”

Michael Tsai, a macOS software developer who blogged about Apple’s software quality problems back in 2015, told The Register in an email that he thought Hall’s critique is mostly fair.

MacOS wakes to a bright Catalina sunrise – and broken Adobe apps

READ MORE

In Twitter message, developer Steve Troughton-Smith said he didn’t have much to say about Catalina. “It’s been in a pretty stable state for a while, as far as I know,” he said, noting that much of the criticism of the operating system follow from its security and privacy features, which he’s disabled on his machine.

“I don’t think it was premature, I think it’s been in roughly the same state for a while,” he said. “People were running into problems syncing their Reminders to Mojave from iOS 13 because of the new Reminds app, so it wouldn’t surprise me if Apple accelerated Catalina by a couple weeks just to make that problem go away.”

Even so, Troughton-Smith agreed that Apple’s software quality recently has been uneven.

“I think they made last year a little better at the expense of this year,” he said. “They’ve been having software quality issues since at least iOS 7 and the switch to [Craig] Federighi.”

“I think iOS 8, 11, and now 13 have been breaking points. iOS 13 has been the first time the OS didn’t make it over the line for the iPhone release. There is a pattern here that may be due to scale/complexity, or management style, but it seems balanced on a knife edge.” ®

Sponsored: What next after Netezza?

Plus: Dumb hipsters spaff $3,000 on ‘Jesus Shoes’

A vicar has said there’s no room for ghosts in the UK’s “most haunted village” of Prestbury, Gloucestershire – unless it’s one of the Holy variety.

Spooky tales of the “Black Abbot” and a “spectral horseman” have made the locale ripe for macabre attractions, and Mark James had run one under the name Cotswold Ghost Tours for four years.

Unfortunately, the Black Abbot, to quote Haunted Britain, “seldom deviates from a particular route” beginning in St Mary’s Church, which “crosses the churchyard and, having kept a straight trajectory through the grounds of the old Priory, vanishes into the wall of a cottage on the High Street, where he announces his arrival by noisily moving things about in the attic.”

That means James’s guided walks would regularly pass through the churchyard – and we can’t have anyone meddling with the occult in God-fearing Middle England, can we?

That the satanic-Nazi cult Order of the Nine Angles is also rumoured to be plotting its galactic Fourth Reich from its West Midlands lair is quite enough already, thank you. It’s proper Wicker Man out there.

The tours irked the Reverend Nick Bromfield, parish vicar, who earlier this week left James a voicemail announcing his intention to join an upcoming tour “with a veiled threat of disrupting it”, he claimed to GloucestershireLive. “It has felt like a personal vendetta,” James added.

Bromfield, however, refuted this. He told the paper: “There are parts in the Bible that say to leave this stuff alone. This is a Christian church – frankly we don’t want people’s stories about ghosts, spectres, poltergeists.”

The Register would take this opportunity to point out that the word “ghost” appears in the book 108 times, though in the context of “to give up the ghost”, which means “to die”, and as the title of “the Holy Ghost”, the third part of the Holy Trinity.

The vicar continued: “It is not good for families, nor is it good for the many children we are blessed to welcome every week.”

He added that he “was saddened to see our church used as a backdrop to promote ghost tours to children” – in reference to an under-16s flavour of the guided walk.

Bromfield first became concerned in summer 2018, when he reckoned that maybe spinning yarns about apparitions in a graveyard while people visited their loved ones’ resting places was a bit insensitive, though God knows why they would be doing that in the dead of night. He also said he once “found a hen party on a tour on his driveway”.

It was agreed that though tours could continue to pass through the churchyard, talks would not be held there. The under-16s version, however, seemed to be the last straw.

Bromfield left another message threatening that staff would “have to be on site supervising and making sure our concerns are addressed fully and correctly”. He also did not want images of the church used on the tour’s website.

James pulled the tour, grumbling: “I simply did not have the time to deal with this man’s claims or respond to him – it was easier for me to leave. He won’t admit it but I think he wanted us to leave.”

At least that gives him time to focus on what he described as the “more profitable” aspects of his biz. Let’s hope the decision doesn’t come back to haunt him.

Holy profit margins, Batman!

In other biblically incorrect news, pairs of $3,000 “Jesus Shoes” sold out “in minutes” after their launch on Tuesday, The Independent reports.

There’s nothing special about the Nike Air Max 97s, which are being flogged for an already steep ‎£144.95 on the sportswear giant’s website, except that the soles “contain holy water” drawn from the River Jordan.

The repurposed sweatshop kicks were blessed by a priest and a crucifix featuring your boy Jesus H has been placed over the laces of the right trainer.

The ex-newspaper noted: “A verse from the Bible is also referenced on the side of the shoe, Matthew 14:25, while a drop of red ink that symbolises the blood of Christ is visible on the tongue of the trainer.”

Brooklyn-based hipster label MSCHF is responsible for this blasphemy against taste, claiming the trainers allow wearers to “walk on water”. But maybe don’t try that one at home, folks.

The project is apparently a take on the absurdity of “collab culture”, with MSCHF’s head of commerce Daniel Greenberg pointing to “that Arizona Iced Tea and Adidas collab, where they were selling shoes that [advertised] a beverage company that sells iced tea at bodegas” as inspiration.

“We were wondering, what would a collab with Jesus Christ look like?” he added. “As a Jew myself, the only thing I knew was that he walked on water.”

So there you go. The religious fun police were predictably unhappy.

Nike, perhaps wisely, is having nothing to do with them. ®

Sponsored: Technical Overview: Exasol Peek Under the Hood

Plus: Dumb hipsters spaff $3,000 on ‘Jesus Shoes’

A vicar has said there’s no room for ghosts in the UK’s “most haunted village” of Prestbury, Gloucestershire – unless it’s one of the Holy variety.

Spooky tales of the “Black Abbot” and a “spectral horseman” have made the locale ripe for macabre attractions, and Mark James had run one under the name Cotswold Ghost Tours for four years.

Unfortunately, the Black Abbot, to quote Haunted Britain, “seldom deviates from a particular route” beginning in St Mary’s Church, which “crosses the churchyard and, having kept a straight trajectory through the grounds of the old Priory, vanishes into the wall of a cottage on the High Street, where he announces his arrival by noisily moving things about in the attic.”

That means James’s guided walks would regularly pass through the churchyard – and we can’t have anyone meddling with the occult in God-fearing Middle England, can we?

That the satanic-Nazi cult Order of the Nine Angles is also rumoured to be plotting its galactic Fourth Reich from its West Midlands lair is quite enough already, thank you. It’s proper Wicker Man out there.

The tours irked the Reverend Nick Bromfield, parish vicar, who earlier this week left James a voicemail announcing his intention to join an upcoming tour “with a veiled threat of disrupting it”, he claimed to GloucestershireLive. “It has felt like a personal vendetta,” James added.

Bromfield, however, refuted this. He told the paper: “There are parts in the Bible that say to leave this stuff alone. This is a Christian church – frankly we don’t want people’s stories about ghosts, spectres, poltergeists.”

The Register would take this opportunity to point out that the word “ghost” appears in the book 108 times, though in the context of “to give up the ghost”, which means “to die”, and as the title of “the Holy Ghost”, the third part of the Holy Trinity.

The vicar continued: “It is not good for families, nor is it good for the many children we are blessed to welcome every week.”

He added that he “was saddened to see our church used as a backdrop to promote ghost tours to children” – in reference to an under-16s flavour of the guided walk.

Bromfield first became concerned in summer 2018, when he reckoned that maybe spinning yarns about apparitions in a graveyard while people visited their loved ones’ resting places was a bit insensitive, though God knows why they would be doing that in the dead of night. He also said he once “found a hen party on a tour on his driveway”.

It was agreed that though tours could continue to pass through the churchyard, talks would not be held there. The under-16s version, however, seemed to be the last straw.

Bromfield left another message threatening that staff would “have to be on site supervising and making sure our concerns are addressed fully and correctly”. He also did not want images of the church used on the tour’s website.

James pulled the tour, grumbling: “I simply did not have the time to deal with this man’s claims or respond to him – it was easier for me to leave. He won’t admit it but I think he wanted us to leave.”

At least that gives him time to focus on what he described as the “more profitable” aspects of his biz. Let’s hope the decision doesn’t come back to haunt him.

Holy profit margins, Batman!

In other biblically incorrect news, pairs of $3,000 “Jesus Shoes” sold out “in minutes” after their launch on Tuesday, The Independent reports.

There’s nothing special about the Nike Air Max 97s, which are being flogged for an already steep ‎£144.95 on the sportswear giant’s website, except that the soles “contain holy water” drawn from the River Jordan.

The repurposed sweatshop kicks were blessed by a priest and a crucifix featuring your boy Jesus H has been placed over the laces of the right trainer.

The ex-newspaper noted: “A verse from the Bible is also referenced on the side of the shoe, Matthew 14:25, while a drop of red ink that symbolises the blood of Christ is visible on the tongue of the trainer.”

Brooklyn-based hipster label MSCHF is responsible for this blasphemy against taste, claiming the trainers allow wearers to “walk on water”. But maybe don’t try that one at home, folks.

The project is apparently a take on the absurdity of “collab culture”, with MSCHF’s head of commerce Daniel Greenberg pointing to “that Arizona Iced Tea and Adidas collab, where they were selling shoes that [advertised] a beverage company that sells iced tea at bodegas” as inspiration.

“We were wondering, what would a collab with Jesus Christ look like?” he added. “As a Jew myself, the only thing I knew was that he walked on water.”

So there you go. The religious fun police were predictably unhappy.

Nike, perhaps wisely, is having nothing to do with them. ®

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